


a proper conversation

by stupidbadgers



Category: Naruto
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Pining, but neither is kakashi, iruka is not great at flirting, things turn out well though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:29:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25768210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stupidbadgers/pseuds/stupidbadgers
Summary: Iruka kept his voice low when he spoke, only loud enough for Kakashi to hear.“You know, we’ve known each other for years and I don’t think we’ve ever had a proper conversation.”
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Comments: 4
Kudos: 118





	a proper conversation

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jessicamiriamdrew](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jessicamiriamdrew/gifts).



> this was born from a prompt from my dear friend miriam. sorry it took so long to be completed ♡♡. 
> 
> big thanks to menecio for looking it over and leaving wonderful feedback, i appreciate it so much!

Iruka took a deep breath. The alcohol flowed through his veins, just enough liquid courage to make his tongue a little looser. 

Kakashi had been sat at the other end of the bar all night, seemingly noticing no one. Iruka had been watching him stare at the wood grain for the better part of two hours. Izumo and Kotetsu had left some time ago, patting Iruka on the back as they went. Iz had come back a moment later, his voice quiet amongst the laughter and cajoling of the crowd. 

“Sometimes you have to take that leap, Iruka. Just go talk to him,” he had said, nodding his head in Kakashi's direction. 

Iruka's face had burned and he hoped that Iz would assume it was caused by the alcohol and not the pure embarrassment he felt from being caught longing for the man across the bar. Again. 

He had hoped that he hadn’t been so obvious in his crush on the other man and so far, he assumed that to be true. Genma was the only other person who had ever said something to Iruka about it and that was only because Iruka had drunkenly confided in him one night more than a year ago. It had been a small, harmless crush then, but had since grown into more. 

Iruka had a deep admiration for Kakashi, for more than just his achievements and his name. His admiration lay in the staunch belief he had in teamwork, how a comrade’s life meant more to Kakashi than the success of a mission. It gave him a humanity that many shinobi seemed to lose over the years of service to their village. It was also his dedication to Team Seven that Iruka had grown fond of, despite the rocky start and the chuunin exams. 

After Sasuke's defection, Iruka had found Kakashi on the bench, the one that so many years previous he had sat on while Kakashi gave him advice. This time though, it was the other way around. Iruka didn’t need Kakashi to tell him the guilt he felt, the anger with himself for not stopping Sasuke, nor the absolute fear he had when he saw Naruto lying in the valley. Iruka could see it written plainly in his body language and the setting of his jaw through his mask. It had taken a long while for him to learn the quirks of the jounin, but Iruka had studied him while talking at the mission desk and over meals with Team Seven. As they sat on the bench and Iruka told Kakashi the words that others had said to Kakashi earlier, the man actually seemed to accept them. Perhaps it was Iruka's delivery or perhaps it was just the fact that it was Iruka saying them, he wouldn’t know. The only important thing was that Kakashi seemed just a little bit lighter when he invited Iruka to get some ramen and then go see Naruto in the hospital. 

Now here they were, with Iruka trying to work up the courage to approach Kakashi. They hadn’t spoken much in the time that Naruto had been gone and Iruka felt the absence of Kakashi acutely. He missed their small talk and Kakashi’s teasing. 

He took another deep breath, steadying himself, before pushing off the bar stool and walking over to the silver-haired man. 

Kakashi didn’t raise his head at Iruka's approach, nor when the chuunin sat down on the stool next to him, his gaze still intent on the wood grain. 

Iruka kept his voice low when he spoke, only loud enough for Kakashi to hear. 

“You know, we’ve known each other for years and I don’t think we’ve ever had a proper conversation.” 

Kakashi did look up then, his single-eyed gaze flicking to Iruka's dark brown eyes. Iruka could swear his lips quirked up. 

“We’ve had lots of conversations, sensei.” 

Iruka wanted to slap his forehead. What the hell had he said that for? Of course they had conversations. He had to think of something to make himself seem like he wasn’t a complete idiot. 

“Well, I mean,” he stuttered, “conversations that weren’t about work or the kids.” 

His cheeks burned and his mind flipped through the earth jutsu he knew, trying to find one that would allow him to be sucked down into the floor, saving himself from his own stupid tongue. 

“Are there other things to talk about?” Kakashi asked seriously, his gaze never leaving Iruka’s. 

“Well, yeah. We could talk about food or literature or…” Iruka trailed off. 

Humor danced in the grey eye. 

“You’ve made it quite clear you don’t approve of my choice of literature.” 

Iruka scoffed, “That’s not literature and I know you read other books.” 

Kakashi raised his eyebrow, “You do? And how do you know that, Iruka-sensei? Have you been watching me?” 

The teasing tone was quite clear and Iruka's face burned hotter. He scratched the scar across his nose. This was the humor he had missed, but he still felt too off-balance from moments before. Kakashi always left him off-balance, but he was still usually able to have proper responses. Iruka blamed the alcohol and nerves. 

Kakashi clicked his tongue, “Maa, sensei, you’ll make me think you were interested in me.” 

“And what if I am?” Iruka shot back, courage and indignation warring in him, that fire he felt when talking with Kakashi reigniting suddenly. “What would you say to that?” 

Iruka could swear there was a faint tinge of pink above the top of Kakashi's mask as the man looked away from him, his eyes going back to the bar top. He fiddled with the glass in front of him. 

“I would tell you that I am not worth your attention and affection. I don’t make a habit of letting myself have the things I want.” 

The indignation vanished as quickly as it had come. Iruka reached out for his hand without thinking, his heart breaking a little at the words. His fingers slid across Kakashi’s gloved palm, his thumb rubbing up and down Kakashi’s thumb. In not so many words, Kakashi had just admitted to him that he wasn’t alone in his feelings, that Kakashi wanted Iruka, and now that Iruka knew that, he wouldn’t give up, not unless Kakashi made it clear he did not want Iruka. 

“That sounds like a lonely and self-destructive habit to have. We all deserve to have things we want every now and then, don’t we? Why should you be any different?” 

Kakashi was looking at their joined hands, his words soft, “Ah, but I tend to break the things I want.” 

“I’m not glass, Kakashi, and I’m not scared of breaking. I’ve been broken before, but I’ve mended.” 

“I’m not worth—” Kakashi started to say again, but Iruka cut him off. 

“More importantly, I get to decide where my attention and affections are directed. I think you are worth them both and so much more.” 

Kakashi looked up again, his eye searching Iruka’s for any sign of deception. He found none, only that dark gaze filled with honesty and the affection Iruka spoke of. 

“Does this count as a proper conversation, sensei?” Kakashi asked abruptly. 

Iruka laughed, the sound quiet and intimate. “Yes, I think it would.” 

Kakashi laced their fingers together as he spoke, “That’s good. I think I would like to have many more proper conversations with you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [tumblr](https://stupidbadgers.tumblr.com).
> 
> stay safe. stay well.


End file.
